Asexuality
Oct. 15th, 2023 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
artemisdartI just finished reading a 37-chapter-long fanfic in which the two heroes are both asexual ("Gamebird," by Guanin). I had seen this fic months ago and skipped it at the time because of the "No sex" and "Asexual" tags. As an allosexual person, I'm mostly interested in the sex!
But I was interested enough now, after reading most of the sexual fics, to come back to this asexual one. I'm glad I did. I could relate to the protagonists even though their ways of showing romance, love, and affection are very different from mine. The work made me ponder my interactions with asexual partners of my own. Is that how they experience attraction, the urge for comfort, the urge for connection? With "just" hugging and stroking and kissing on the body, not the mouth? And nothing below the belt; in fact, whenever one of them got aroused they were disgusted and grossed out by it. Reading this fic made me understand, at least a little, what that might be like, and have more empathy for the asexual people I have loved.
Looking back, I was always pushing them for more, because to me, doing that much is just the prelude to "the real thing." I apologize to my asexual partners for wanting more from them than they wanted to give. It's a good thing I learned my lesson awhile ago, and haven't pushed for anything more in a long time.
Good fiction can expand one's mind and even lead one to reflect on past mistakes, and resolve to do better in the future.
But I was interested enough now, after reading most of the sexual fics, to come back to this asexual one. I'm glad I did. I could relate to the protagonists even though their ways of showing romance, love, and affection are very different from mine. The work made me ponder my interactions with asexual partners of my own. Is that how they experience attraction, the urge for comfort, the urge for connection? With "just" hugging and stroking and kissing on the body, not the mouth? And nothing below the belt; in fact, whenever one of them got aroused they were disgusted and grossed out by it. Reading this fic made me understand, at least a little, what that might be like, and have more empathy for the asexual people I have loved.
Looking back, I was always pushing them for more, because to me, doing that much is just the prelude to "the real thing." I apologize to my asexual partners for wanting more from them than they wanted to give. It's a good thing I learned my lesson awhile ago, and haven't pushed for anything more in a long time.
Good fiction can expand one's mind and even lead one to reflect on past mistakes, and resolve to do better in the future.
