New Moons of 2001

[artemisdart]

Dear People,

Thanks to Craig, Aurora, Micah, Laurel, and Marla for the New Moon Name Suggestions. Here are their wonderful contributions, in no particular order. The remaining less-than-perfect suggestions, obviously, are my own.

(December 25, 2000)
--> New President Moon--finally!
--> "Jesus Christ it's dark out moon"
--> The New Moon of Pagans Everywhere Celebrating
--> The New and Improved Moon
--> New Moon of Pain

January 24, 2001
--> New Bottle Moon (after you've drunk up all the alcohol left over from your New Year's parties)
--> "Worship me or I'll leave you shrouded in darkness forever Moon"
--> The New Moon of Enough of this Cold Stuff
--> New Moon of Fear

February 23
--> New Boyfriend Moon (after the Valentine's Day romance has had time to wear off.)
--> The New Moon of the Fall Fashion Shows
--> New Big Empty Hole in the Sky Moon
--> New Moon of Anger
--> Noom

March 24
--> New Calendar Moon (when you finally admit to yourself that you really must throw away last year's calendar and shell out for this year's calendar.)
--> New Moon of Chilling Rains and Icy Winds
--> The New Moon of Stepping in a Puddle that Didn't Look That Deep
--> The "Damn! Winter in Minnesota is Long" New Moon
--> New Moon of Annoyedness

April 23
--> New Job Moon (when at long last you get a new job after getting fired for pulling an April fool's joke on your boss three weeks earlier...)
--> "Ha Ha, just kidding. I'm only hiding on the other side of the planet Moon."
--> "Departure of Senior Oles into the Great Unknown Moon"
--> The New Moon of Realizing It's a Week Past the Tax Due Date
--> New Moon of Denial
--> Fool Moon (get it?) (Catherine says: Indeed we do, and it’s even four letters…)

May 22
--> New Wardrobe Moon (the weather is a-warming, break out the summer time clothes!)
--> "What no flowers, well maybe I'll never come back moon."
--> The New Moon of the Start of Wedding Season
--> The Creativity running out moon…
--> New Moon of Bargaining

June 21
--> New-lywed Moon
--> "Shit man, did I oversleep again moon."
--> The New Moon of Mosquito Bites in Embarrassing Places
--> Moon of Irrelevance (as this is the longest day of the year, and thus the shortest night)
--> New Moon of Ennui

July 20
--> New Jersey Shore Moon (New moon over the Jersey shore while you're there on a weekend getaway-- this unlucky moon bodes ill for those walking along the beach at night in bare feet, who will probably end up stepping on hypodermic needles, broken bottles, and used condoms washing up on the shore in the near-darkness of the new moon.)
--> "Making up for July 7th when I was out and everyone ignored me moon."
--> The New Moon of Leftover Fireworks
--> New Moon of Despair

August 18
--> Brand New Moon (If you're born today, your doctor's first view of your tiny tush.)
--> "I'm hanging out with the sun on the other side and she's a babe moon."
--> The New Moon of Rivulets of Sweat Running Down Your Back
--> New Moon of Yearning

September 17
--> New Schoolbooks Moon (That lovely dark evening when you realize summer is over and it's time to hit the books for another @#$*ing year of grad school. Also known as New Wardrobe Moon Revisited.)
--> "Allright, I know she left me, but I figure if I stalk her, she'll come back moon."
--> The New Moon of the Day Before Marla's Birthday
--> New Moon of Anguish

October 16
--> New York Moon (refers to how the skies over the sleepless Big Apple are never quite dark, being perpetually lit by the city's electric glow whether the moon/stars/comets/etc. are out or not)
--> "Sick and tired of watching the I'm-a-vampire, I'm-a-werewolf crowd moon."
--> The New Moon of Buying More Miniature Chocolate Candy Bars
--> New Moon of Angst

November 15
--> New Moonies (people newly converted to the Unification Church on this date.)
--> "Isn't she beautiful by the new moon moon" (also referred to as "ugly girl gets lucky moon.")
--> The New Moon of Thawing the Turkey
--> New Moon of Irkedness

December 14
--> Star! (what can we say? The moon isn't a part of the Christmas story, and thus has no place butting in in December.)
--> "Ugly girl has a good memory moon." (also referred to as "Oh my god, what happened to my car moon.")
--> The New Moon of Deciding to Become Pagan and Not Give In To Commercialism
--> New Moon of Homicidal Rage