Full Moons of 2001

[artemisdart]

Sounds like a movie title, doesn't it? Today is the first full moon of the year, and according to the Farmers' Almanac, it has a name. (Yes! A name!)

Unfortunately it is not "Screaming Purple Moon of Death," although I'm sure that the Farmers' Almanac people left that out reluctantly. Neither is it "Earl," "Jehosophat," "The Big Round Thing In The Sky, Volume One," or "Whoah, dude, like, the moon is out and stuff."

According to the Farmers' Almanac, these are the moon names for 2001, taken from various Native American tribes in the Pacific Northwest.

January 9 . . . The Full Wolf Moon
February 8 . . The Full Snow Moon
March 9 . . . . The Full Worm Moon
April 7 . . . . The Full Pink Moon

(So far it looks as though all moon names have to have only four letters, which would narrow things down considerably... My favorite is the Full Worm Moon, so named because that's when worms start to appear as the earth thaws. Pink is from the flowering of the herb "moss pink" or "wild ground phlox.")

(Charging onward with the year, we have:)

May 7 . . . . . The Full Flower Moon
June 5 . . . . The Full Strawberry Moon
July 5 . . . . The Full Buck Moon (back to that four-letter thing again)
August 4 . . . The Full Sturgeon Moon
September 2 . . The Full Fruit (or Barley) Moon

(Note: Usually September's moon is the full Harvest Moon; but this year the October moon is closer to the equinox, leaving the name Fruit or Barley for September's moon. These names are used about once in three years.)

October 2 . . . The Full Harvest Moon
November 1 . . The Full Hunters' Moon
November 30 . . The Full Beaver Moon (sometimes called the Frosty Moon)
December 30 . . The Full Cold Moon, or, The Full Long Night's Moon

Neat, huh? But what about names for *new* moons? I am currently accepting suggestions from my faithful readers (that's you!). For instance, the new moon on March 24 (closest to Income Tax Day) could be the New Moon of the Empty Wallet. Here are the dates of the new moons, for your convenience. Try your hand at naming them, send it back to me, and you could see your name in lights! NOTE for my online readers: This contest is closed. Illegal entry of this contest may result in gastrointestinal distress, or other results as notated below.

(December 25, 2000)
January 24, 2001
February 23
March 24
April 23
May 22
June 21
July 20
August 18
September 17
October 16
November 15
December 14

FINE PRINT:

Votes will be methodically tabulated by machines with error factors of only 15%. Hanging chads will be left there to swing in the wind. Pregnant chads will be directed to the nearest hospital. Dimpled chads will be directed to the tryouts for "A Shirley Temple Musical Extravaganza."

Vote early and often. If you make an error on your ballot or are confused by it, do not consult an election official: we're just here for show. Entries in English, Alpha Centauri-an, ancient Persian or modern Basque only, please.

Void where prohibited by law or good taste. Not responsible for lost or missing items. Stock valuations may go down as well as up. To check for illegal drugs, so that we can get our hands on some, blood samples will be taken from random readers by tiny needles hidden in their mousepads. Direct all queries to 1-800-WHO-CARES.

Participating in this exercise may cause sudden loss of consciousness, unwanted hair growth, abdominal bleeding, growth of an extra ear, sleep disorders, flashbacks to the seventh grade, incontinence, coma, weight gain, or death. Have a great day, and thank you for your participation!

Another Note in case you didn't see it above: I'm not going to keep tabulating and posting new moon suggestions, unless people beg and plead and persuade me. And if you're going to all that trouble, you might as well just post it yourself. So please do not send any more new moon suggestions. For what my e-mail recipients came up with, check out the next story...